The body issue.

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I put on 30kg during my pregnancy. Given that I lost 4kg due to the severe morning sickness in my first trimester that is certainly an impressive accomplishment. There are many days that I wonder how I managed to gain that much weight in 6 months, then I remember the addiction to cheesymite scrolls, KFC twisters and chips that followed the extreme food aversion of the first trimester and suddenly it makes a bit more sense.

I am no stranger to losing weight having been a bigger girl in my early 20s. I lost my considerable girth through diet and exercise and until about 2 months ago I was confident that I could knock this baby weight flat on it’s ass pretty easily using the same method. That assumption was INCORRECT!

Why? Why do my previous methods of weight shedding no longer work? Why is my body not “bouncing back” to it’s previous bouncy self? What the hell is going on here?!?!?!

I have come to the conclusion that this is because I have grown and birthed a human. Apparently this is a very monumental thing for the body to do and for many women their bodies never go back to the way they were. This theory is supported by a long and unsatisfactory discussion with my GP who concluded by telling me there was no magic bullet to fix my post baby weight gain. Unfortunately it’s just diet and exercise with the added bonus that loosing weight post baby is definitely harder because of what your body has been through and can be a lot slower than what I’ve done before.

Stuff that.

I know what you’re thinking – “but Amy, don’t you feel sexy and powerful after watching your body do such an amazing thing like pregnancy and giving birth?”

No. I am not that person. My hair is falling out, I am less fit than a tiny weak kitten who hates going to the gym and to be honest I am resentful that my body has betrayed me like this. The skin on my stomach has stretched and now flaps against itself when I run. Discovered that little gem during personal training the other day when I couldn’t work out what that weird noise was. Nothing is un sexier than that. Top that off with the fact that my knees are tender and creeky and my wrists make some sort of cracking sound during push-ups I’m like a one woman percussion band when I hit the gym. So hot.

So why is this weight loss suddenly so hard?

P.B (pre baby) I went to the gym at least once a day and fitness was a top priority . A baby doesn’t let you do that (at least mine doesn’t) mainly because you are so damn tired all the time. When Tim comes home from work, we bath Hugh, give him a bottle and throw him in bed at which point I proceed to get my own bottle and relocate to the lounge where I lie like a very comfortable beached whale until it’s time to go to bed. In the mornings I am still in “sleep as much and as often as you can” mode which makes early rising a difficult manoeuvre. I could book Hugh into the crèche at my gym but I keep forgetting to do that (subconscious sabotage?) so I’m the first to admit I have the opportunity but I don’t take it as much as I should. The motivation just isn’t there and I’m struggling to get it back.

I have rejoined Weight Watchers and the weight is SLOWLY creeping down. When I say slowly pretty sure a snail with concrete weighs attached to its shell is faster than my weight loss at the moment but you know what, it’s happening and that is a good thing!

While I may feel less than positive about my post baby body now and desperately long for my pre baby body back I am trying to change my tune. My weight will come down (eventually) and my fitness will come back (slowly). But I’ll never be the same as I was before physically or emotionally. I have a happy, healthy baby boy who has changed everything about my life (including my poor body) forever. If I’m ever going to be happy I need to set myself some realistic expectations and stop reading “How Miranda Kerr lost all of her post baby weight in 3 days and WOW she even looks better than she did before” articles in OK Magazine.

I will continue to persevere with the post baby girth but I’ve accepted it’s a marathon not a sprint and that the end result will never be what it once was.

On the upside I’ve already decided on the name for my yet to be written autobiography – “The Sound of One Stomach Flapping”.

Sorry, I’ve been wanting to use that line for a while.

______________________________

Things I’ve loved this week :

Storage cubes from Target. A great way to store Hugh’s smaller toys in an easy to locate way! https://www.target.com.au/p/ltd-kaleidoscope-coated-paper-cube/58806159

My shellac manicure. Keeps on keeping on.

My new Lipsense lipsticks! Beautiful colours and does not come off on my coffee cup, my wine glass or my son! Complete win!

 

 

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