The Childcare Cesspit

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Before I begin today’s post I would like to state that we were warned. We were told repeatedly to prepare ourselves for the never ending sick cycle that is your child’s first 6-12 months in childcare but in all honesty we were not prepared. Not at all.

To most of you tomorrow is Thursday but to us tomorrow is the ominous “Day 4” of the childcare week. We are yet to make it all the way through Day 4. It’s like Hugh’s little immune system can’t hold out the full 4 days. We’ve got to Wednesday afternoon, we’ve even got to midday Thursday once but a full day Thursday just seems like too much. I’m mentally preparing for what tomorrow brings.

It’s not just Hugh who is crashing and burning at this point. So far the list of illnesses we have encountered in the past month include:

Cold (me, Tim, Hugh)

Shingles (me)

Respiratory Infection (Hugh)

Conjunctivitis (Hugh and Tim)

Tonsillitis (Tim)

Random vomiting (Hugh)

Gastro (Hugh)

Some kind of gross chin fungal infection (Hugh)

We are currently splitting out time between 2 GPs as I am too embarrassed to keep going  back to the same one every week. The two GPs don’t include the home doctor visits or the trips to the after hours clinic at the hospital. I have almost memorised our Medicare card number off by heart and I only half joke when I tell Tim I think we should pull Hugh out if childcare on Thursday as, while I would loose another days pay, the money we would save on childcar, doctors bills and medications would probably make up for it.

The most common sentence currently uttered in our household is “have you sanitised your hands?” followed by ” where’s the Glen 20?” and “do his eyes look pink to you”, “is that pus or just a bit of sleep” and ” do my eyes look pink? They’re itchy, for gods sake are they pink?!”.  At the first sign of illness we try and quarantine ourselves away from Hugh. Hugh has no such consideration and divides his time between openly coughing in our faces and wiping his hands in his snot/ eye gunk and sticking them in our mouths and up our noses on a regular basis.  Charming.

We go though so many cans of Glen 20 at the moment I feel like negotiating some sort of sponsorship deal. If anyone from Glen 20 does read my blog please get in touch. Likewise to the makers of Detol Wipes. Seriously, call me.

Despite these fine products and their germ deterring properties the little buggers keep slipping though into our house! I’m trying to come up with new ways to prevent the spread of germs.  I have considered a self contained bubble suit for Hugh, or maybe a fumigation chamber just inside the front door so he gets a good decontamination process before he gets through the door. On more extreme days perhaps we just torch the whole house and start again.

I am hopeful that tomorrow will be the day the cycle breaks and that we will make it through the dreaded “Day 4”. If not you can find me in the cleaning aisle of my local supermarket. I’ll be the lady with the slightly pink twitchy eyes, the snotty baby and the basket choc full of Glen 20.

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